From Doing to Leading: Navigating the Transition to Leadership
Apr 2
/
Language of Leadership
The transition to leadership is one of the most difficult and high-stakes shifts in a professional career — and it’s often one of the most misunderstood. While promotions are typically framed as achievements, they also come with hidden emotional and social challenges — especially when you’re now responsible for leading people who used to be your peers.
It’s no wonder that 60% of new managers fail within their first two years in the role, according to Forbes. The pressure to perform, the uncertainty around how to lead, and the immediate shift in team dynamics can catch even the most capable professionals off guard.
This shift isn’t just about a new title — it’s a full identity transformation. You’re no longer measured by what you produce individually, but by how you empower and guide others. That shift touches everything: power dynamics, self-worth, communication, and relationships.
And yet, most new leaders are given very little direction or support in how to manage this change. They’re expected to figure it out as they go — often while leading people who remember them as a peer just days or weeks earlier.
The goal of this blog is to normalize the discomfort that comes with a transition to leadership, offer a clear framework for navigating the transition, and share real, practical strategies for leading your team with clarity, confidence, and connection. Whether you’ve just been promoted or are preparing for a leadership role, what follows will help you lead more effectively — without losing yourself in the process.
Common Challenges When Transitioning to Leadership
Stepping into leadership for the first time is rarely just about learning new skills. It’s about navigating a complete shift in how you see yourself—and how others see you. And that’s especially true when you’re now leading people who used to be your peers.
One day, you’re working side-by-side with your team, venting about processes or celebrating small wins together. The next, you’re their manager. You’re responsible for their performance. You’re having one-on-ones. You’re giving feedback. You’re being evaluated for how well they execute.
And yet, the social cues haven’t caught up. You’re still sitting in the same chair, talking to the same people, in the same Slack channels. That dissonance—the mix of familiarity and new authority—creates a unique kind of internal tension.
You probably remember the shortcuts you took. The workarounds you shared. The things you didn’t exactly enforce. And now, you’re the person who’s supposed to hold the line. That dynamic can stir up a lot of quiet anxiety. A lot of “who am I to lead?”
This identity dissonance is one of the most common and under-discussed challenges new leaders face. And without guidance, most fall into one of two traps:
#1: Overcompensating
Some new leaders go into overdrive trying to prove they earned the role. They try to solve every problem themselves. They push too hard too fast. They micromanage. They step in whenever something feels off—often unintentionally sending the message that they don’t trust their team. What’s really driving them is self-doubt. It’s the fear that they’ll be exposed as not ready, and the belief that they need to re-earn their credibility through constant action.
#2: Backing Off
Others swing the opposite direction. They become overly deferential. They try to stay “liked” by avoiding difficult conversations. They position themselves as the messenger—just passing down whatever “corporate” says instead of stepping into leadership with their own voice. They refer constantly to the big bad boss, never quite claiming their own point of view, and avoid putting their own stamp on how they lead—mostly because they’re afraid to cross that line with people who used to be equals.
In both cases, the root problem is the same: the new leader hasn’t fully internalized what leadership really requires. They’re trying to lead while still holding onto the comfort of their old role, or trying to lead without fully claiming their new one.
This transition is particularly complex when there’s real relational equity involved—when you're leading people you genuinely care about. That’s when the lines blur most, and when imposter syndrome shows up strongest.
But here’s the truth: leadership is less about having the answers and more about owning the responsibility. You don’t have to justify your promotion. You don’t have to lead perfectly. You just have to be willing to grow into the role—and stay grounded in what your people need now.
The hardest part of leadership isn’t stepping up—it’s letting go. Letting go of the need to do everything yourself. Letting go of your old identity. And letting go of the idea that your authority has to be earned in every single moment. Too many new leaders fall into the trap of thinking they still need to be the one doing the work, when their real job is to lead others through it.
That’s the shift. And it’s where real leadership begins.
In both cases, the root problem is the same: the new leader hasn’t fully internalized what leadership really requires. They’re trying to lead while still holding onto the comfort of their old role, or trying to lead without fully claiming their new one.
This transition is particularly complex when there’s real relational equity involved—when you're leading people you genuinely care about. That’s when the lines blur most, and when imposter syndrome shows up strongest.
But here’s the truth: leadership is less about having the answers and more about owning the responsibility. You don’t have to justify your promotion. You don’t have to lead perfectly. You just have to be willing to grow into the role—and stay grounded in what your people need now.
The hardest part of leadership isn’t stepping up—it’s letting go. Letting go of the need to do everything yourself. Letting go of your old identity. And letting go of the idea that your authority has to be earned in every single moment. Too many new leaders fall into the trap of thinking they still need to be the one doing the work, when their real job is to lead others through it.
That’s the shift. And it’s where real leadership begins.
How to Transition into a Leadership Role Successfully
Another mistake new leaders make is thinking they need to prove themselves by taking immediate action. But the truth is, the best thing you can do in those first days and weeks isn’t to act — it’s to listen.
Most teams don’t need a complete overhaul. They need a leader who takes the time to understand what’s working, what’s not, and why things are the way they are. It’s easy to come in with a list of frustrations you’ve carried over from being on the team — all the things you swore you’d change when you finally had the power. But the reality is, those frustrations often come from only seeing half the story.
When you’re in an individual contributor role, you know what the work feels like, but you often don’t understand the broader context: the business constraints, the operational needs, the bigger-picture pressures that shape how things work. So when you finally step into leadership, you may find yourself surprised — even humbled — to realize that some of those things you thought were broken actually exist for a reason.
That’s why the very first shift in this transition has to be mental: you’re no longer responsible for just doing the work — you’re now responsible for how others do the work. And to do that well, you need to ground yourself before you try to lead anyone else.
One of the most practical tools I’ve seen new leaders succeed with is what I call “rules of engagement” conversations. These are the kinds of questions that help you learn how your team operates — and how they want to be led. You’re not just learning their preferences — you’re building trust and opening a dialogue that sets the tone for your leadership style. Ask things like:
Most teams don’t need a complete overhaul. They need a leader who takes the time to understand what’s working, what’s not, and why things are the way they are. It’s easy to come in with a list of frustrations you’ve carried over from being on the team — all the things you swore you’d change when you finally had the power. But the reality is, those frustrations often come from only seeing half the story.
When you’re in an individual contributor role, you know what the work feels like, but you often don’t understand the broader context: the business constraints, the operational needs, the bigger-picture pressures that shape how things work. So when you finally step into leadership, you may find yourself surprised — even humbled — to realize that some of those things you thought were broken actually exist for a reason.
That’s why the very first shift in this transition has to be mental: you’re no longer responsible for just doing the work — you’re now responsible for how others do the work. And to do that well, you need to ground yourself before you try to lead anyone else.
Instead of rushing in to “fix” everything, come in with curiosity. Observe. Ask questions. Get to know your team’s perspectives. Don’t assume you already know what needs to change. You may find that what’s most needed isn’t a sweeping change — just a few small, strategic adjustments that align people around shared values, expectations, and goals.
One of the most practical tools I’ve seen new leaders succeed with is what I call “rules of engagement” conversations. These are the kinds of questions that help you learn how your team operates — and how they want to be led. You’re not just learning their preferences — you’re building trust and opening a dialogue that sets the tone for your leadership style. Ask things like:
- “How do you want to be held accountable?”
- “If I need to give tough feedback, what’s the best way for me to do that?”
- “What do you love about your role?”
- “What part of your job would you be happy to never do again?”
These questions aren’t fluffy. They’re high-leverage. They create space for people to share what matters to them, and they give you a map of how to lead them in a way that’s human, not mechanical.
Another important shift: stop trying to solve everything yourself. This one’s hard — especially if you were good at the work before getting promoted. You might feel a strong urge to jump in, fix problems, and prove your value. But in reality, stepping in too often erodes your authority and prevents your team from growing. You end up reinforcing the idea that you're still a doer, not a leader.
When you have an idea, don’t position it as a mandate. Say, “Here’s something I’m thinking about…” That small shift in language invites collaboration instead of resistance. It signals that you’re here to work with your team — not on top of them.
And when you genuinely care about your people — which most new leaders do — this approach comes more naturally. You don’t need to distance yourself or pretend to be someone else. You don’t have to throw away the relationships you’ve built. In fact, those relationships are an asset. You just need to reframe them in the context of your new role. You care about your people, and now you have a different kind of power to help them grow. Use it well.
To not use your new position to help your people get where they’re trying to go — that would be a disservice to everyone. The point isn’t to be liked or to be feared. The point is to be effective, consistent, and supportive. That’s what earns trust — and that’s what builds long-term credibility.
Mistakes to Avoid When Transitioning to Leadership Role
Even when your heart is in the right place, it’s easy to slip into patterns that hold you back as a new leader. Most mistakes I see during this transition come from either insecurity or a misunderstanding of what leadership actually demands.
Here are a few of the most common — and costly — mistakes to watch for:
1. Trying to Prove Yourself
This is probably the most natural impulse. You’ve just been promoted, and whether you admit it or not, there’s a voice in your head saying: “Now I need to show everyone why I deserve it.”
That pressure leads to over-functioning. You try to jump in and fix everything. You take on too much. You try to outwork the perception of not being ready. But here’s the truth: no one actually needs you to be the hero. Your team doesn’t need a savior — they need a leader.
You were promoted for a reason. You don’t have to re-earn your role every day. And you definitely don’t need to prove your worth by doing the work your team is supposed to own. Your job now is to guide, develop, and hold the vision — not to jump back on the tools.
That pressure leads to over-functioning. You try to jump in and fix everything. You take on too much. You try to outwork the perception of not being ready. But here’s the truth: no one actually needs you to be the hero. Your team doesn’t need a savior — they need a leader.
You were promoted for a reason. You don’t have to re-earn your role every day. And you definitely don’t need to prove your worth by doing the work your team is supposed to own. Your job now is to guide, develop, and hold the vision — not to jump back on the tools.
2. Taking on Tasks Instead of Delegating
If you’ve been promoted from within the team, there’s a good chance you’re excellent at the work. That’s what got you noticed. But that strength can become a liability if you can’t let go of it.
You might think, “It’s faster if I just do it myself.” And that might be true — short term. But long term, it undercuts your effectiveness. Every time you step in, you signal that you don’t fully trust your team or believe in their development. And you rob them of the opportunity to learn, take ownership, and grow.
Leadership is about multiplication, not substitution. You’re not here to be the most productive person — you’re here to make the whole team better.
You might think, “It’s faster if I just do it myself.” And that might be true — short term. But long term, it undercuts your effectiveness. Every time you step in, you signal that you don’t fully trust your team or believe in their development. And you rob them of the opportunity to learn, take ownership, and grow.
Leadership is about multiplication, not substitution. You’re not here to be the most productive person — you’re here to make the whole team better.
3. Avoiding Ownership by Playing the Middle
This one can be sneaky. You defer decisions. You say things like, “Well, corporate wants us to do it this way,” or, “I’m just the messenger.” You lean on hierarchy to explain away choices, instead of standing in them yourself.
That might feel safer, especially when you’re unsure. But it chips away at your credibility. People follow leaders who lead — not mouthpieces who deliver news from above.
You have to find your own voice. You can communicate company priorities without losing your humanity. And you can advocate for your team without pretending you’re not responsible for outcomes.
That might feel safer, especially when you’re unsure. But it chips away at your credibility. People follow leaders who lead — not mouthpieces who deliver news from above.
You have to find your own voice. You can communicate company priorities without losing your humanity. And you can advocate for your team without pretending you’re not responsible for outcomes.
4. Letting Imposter Syndrome Drive Your Behavior
It’s incredibly common to feel like you have to justify why you got the role — especially if you’re leading people who also wanted it. You might not even know why you were chosen. Nobody hands you a play-by-play comparison of the candidates. So you end up carrying this invisible weight — like you owe everyone an explanation for your promotion.
You don’t. You didn’t choose yourself, but you can choose how you show up. The best thing you can say to yourself — and even to others if needed — is this:
“I don’t know why I was picked over someone else. But I’m committed to doing the work, getting better, and being a great leader.”
That humility, paired with consistency, is more powerful than any list of credentials.
You don’t. You didn’t choose yourself, but you can choose how you show up. The best thing you can say to yourself — and even to others if needed — is this:
“I don’t know why I was picked over someone else. But I’m committed to doing the work, getting better, and being a great leader.”
That humility, paired with consistency, is more powerful than any list of credentials.
5. Making Big Changes Too Quickly
You’ve probably had a running list in your head of all the things you’d change if you were ever in charge. But now that you are, those assumptions need to be tested. What felt broken from the outside may actually make sense in context. What frustrated you as a peer might look different now that you’re responsible for the bigger picture.
Resist the urge to come in and flip the table. Start by asking questions. Understand the system before you try to change it. You’ll earn more trust that way — and you’ll probably find that only a few small, strategic changes are needed to make a big impact.
Resist the urge to come in and flip the table. Start by asking questions. Understand the system before you try to change it. You’ll earn more trust that way — and you’ll probably find that only a few small, strategic changes are needed to make a big impact.
Tips for Motivating and Leading Peers in Your New Role
Leading peers is one of the most emotionally complex parts of the transition to leadership. These are people you may have collaborated closely with, vented alongside, or even confided in. You know their strengths and their quirks — and they know yours. That familiarity can be a strength, but only if you approach it with clarity, maturity, and intentionality.
First, acknowledge the shift. When the dynamics feel awkward, don’t pretend they aren’t. You don’t need to over-explain or make it weird — just own the reality. Something as simple as, “Yeah, this is kind of a shift for both of us,” can defuse tension and open the door to a more honest, grounded working relationship.
If there’s someone on the team who was hoping to be promoted into your role, don’t avoid it. It’s tempting to pretend like everything’s fine — but that silence can erode trust. Instead, be willing to name what’s unsaid. That might sound like: “I can tell this has been a tough transition, and I want you to know I’m still here to support your growth. I’d love to talk about how we can work well together in this new setup.”
That level of directness shows confidence, empathy, and leadership — all at once.
One of the most effective ways to motivate former peers is to lean into the personal relationships you’ve already built — not avoid them. If you genuinely care about these people (and you probably do), use that. Ask them where they want to go in their careers. Find out what lights them up. Then, as their leader, look for ways to help them move toward those goals.
And yes, that includes feedback. Delivering feedback to someone you used to joke around with can feel strange. But it’s also an opportunity to deepen trust. Be clear and caring. Ask them how they want to receive feedback. Include them in the process of improvement — not just as recipients of critique, but as collaborators in their own growth.
Remember: your job isn’t to maintain friendships — it’s to lead well. But leadership and relationship aren’t mutually exclusive. You can care deeply and hold high standards at the same time. In fact, the best leaders do.
To motivate and lead your peers successfully, don’t try to prove your power — prove your presence. Show that you’re here, you’re consistent, you’re invested in their success, and you’re not afraid to do the hard stuff when it matters.
That’s what earns respect. And it’s what makes this leadership transition not just successful but sustainable.
Practical Steps for a Smooth Leadership Transition
Successful leadership isn’t just about mindset — it’s about what you actually do in those first few weeks and months. Once you’ve grounded yourself in the right approach, the next step is execution. You need systems, rituals, and repeatable actions that build momentum and trust over time.
Here’s how to do that.
1. Slow Down and Observe First
Before making any changes, take the time to listen. Ask questions. Map out what’s really happening on the team. Pay attention to informal dynamics, pain points, and hidden strengths. Most teams don’t need a revolution — just a few well-placed adjustments.
Acting too quickly can create unnecessary disruption. Slowing down shows you respect the team’s history, their processes, and the way they work.
2. Use “Rules of Engagement” Questions
Start every key relationship with clarity. Ask each team member how they want to be held accountable, how they prefer to receive feedback, what they love about their role, and what they’d be happy to never do again. These early conversations give you insight into how to support and challenge people in a way that builds trust and alignment.
You’re not just collecting preferences — you’re laying the foundation for psychological safety and strong communication.
You’re not just collecting preferences — you’re laying the foundation for psychological safety and strong communication.
3. Initiate a Feedback Loop Early
You don’t need to wait for a formal performance cycle to give and receive feedback. Normalize feedback from day one. Let people know your role is to help them grow, and that you’re committed to growing too.
When people feel safe enough to tell you what’s working and what’s not, you’ll catch problems earlier and adapt faster. The result is a more agile, more connected team.
When people feel safe enough to tell you what’s working and what’s not, you’ll catch problems earlier and adapt faster. The result is a more agile, more connected team.
4. Develop a Clear Leadership Action Plan
Even a simple plan goes a long way. Think through what kind of culture you want to build, how you’ll support each person’s development, and what success looks like for the team as a whole. Then look at the systems or rituals — one-on-ones, team meetings, feedback cycles — that will reinforce that culture consistently.
Without a plan, it’s easy to revert to old habits. With one, you have a grounded sense of where you’re going and why.
Without a plan, it’s easy to revert to old habits. With one, you have a grounded sense of where you’re going and why.
5. Invest in Your Own Development
Don’t try to white-knuckle your way through the transition. Invest in leadership training, coaching, or mentorship. Surround yourself with resources that challenge and support you. Leadership is a skill — and like any skill, it sharpens over time with practice and feedback.
If you’re looking for a place to start, this free leadership course is a great first step. It’s designed specifically for new and emerging leaders who want to grow their skills, gain practical tools, and lead with more clarity and confidence.
In most cases, you don’t need sweeping change. A few thoughtful tweaks to how you show up — how you listen, respond, and lead — can make a real difference. The sooner you build trust, the sooner you can introduce the feedback loops, the team development, and the cultural shifts that will actually move the needle.
If you’re looking for a place to start, this free leadership course is a great first step. It’s designed specifically for new and emerging leaders who want to grow their skills, gain practical tools, and lead with more clarity and confidence.
In most cases, you don’t need sweeping change. A few thoughtful tweaks to how you show up — how you listen, respond, and lead — can make a real difference. The sooner you build trust, the sooner you can introduce the feedback loops, the team development, and the cultural shifts that will actually move the needle.
Transition to Leadership Seamlessly with Language of Leadership!
As we’ve explored here, transitioning into leadership isn’t just a step up — it’s a full transformation. It challenges your identity, your relationships, your confidence, and your assumptions. And while the discomfort is real, so is the potential for deep growth and impact.
Most people aren’t taught how to lead. They’re promoted because they were great at their previous role — and then expected to just figure it out from there. But leadership isn’t about knowing all the answers. It’s about listening, adapting, and creating the conditions for others to thrive.
As reported by Time, research shows that 82% of managers don’t have the talent to be effective in their roles. But from where I sit? It’s rarely about raw talent — it’s about training, practice, and support. Most people can grow into great leaders. They just need the right tools and space to develop.
If there’s one thing to take away from this entire process, it’s this: staying grounded in your values through uncomfortable moments will pay off. You will grow through this transition. Your team will grow. And the ripple effects of how you show up now will last for years to come.
So lean in. Embrace the challenges. Ask the hard questions. You’ll be surprised how much clarity, strength, and purpose you’ll uncover in the process.
We set out to solve performance problems or communication gaps — but often, we end up transforming not just our teams, but ourselves. That’s the real work of leadership. And that’s what makes this journey worth it.
Most people aren’t taught how to lead. They’re promoted because they were great at their previous role — and then expected to just figure it out from there. But leadership isn’t about knowing all the answers. It’s about listening, adapting, and creating the conditions for others to thrive.
As reported by Time, research shows that 82% of managers don’t have the talent to be effective in their roles. But from where I sit? It’s rarely about raw talent — it’s about training, practice, and support. Most people can grow into great leaders. They just need the right tools and space to develop.
If there’s one thing to take away from this entire process, it’s this: staying grounded in your values through uncomfortable moments will pay off. You will grow through this transition. Your team will grow. And the ripple effects of how you show up now will last for years to come.
So lean in. Embrace the challenges. Ask the hard questions. You’ll be surprised how much clarity, strength, and purpose you’ll uncover in the process.
We set out to solve performance problems or communication gaps — but often, we end up transforming not just our teams, but ourselves. That’s the real work of leadership. And that’s what makes this journey worth it.
Ready to lead with more confidence?
If you're navigating this shift — or preparing for it — you don’t have to go it alone. The Language of Leadership free course is a powerful starting point. It’s packed with actionable insights and practical strategies to help you step into your next role with clarity, connection, and momentum.
Sign up now and take the next step in your leadership journey.
Sign up now and take the next step in your leadership journey.
Download The Free eBook and never worry about excuses again!
The eBook is on its way to your inbox!